Positive Vulnerability

My cousin recently sent me an interesting video called "The Power Of Vulnerability." {The whole video can be watched here} In this video, a woman named Brene Brown gives 20 minute speech about her research on human connection. After years of conducting studies, she has concluded that the basis for forming strong relationships is vulnerability. At one point in the video Brown says, "In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen."

When she said this, I was reminded of the conversation in class we had about people putting on a different persona depending on the situation they are in and the people they are interacting with. According to her statement, it seems that the people who have the strongest relationships in their lives are also who wear the fewest masks. This video explains that those who are happiest with their lives were the ones who embraced vulnerability, rather than trying to cover it up (by putting on a mask).

It makes sense to me that a relationship with feelings of vulnerability is stronger than a relationship without any. Although vulnerableness generally has a negative connotation, I think that when regarding a relationship, it directly correlates with genuineness. If one is feeling vulnerable about a relationship it can only mean that they truly care about the other person. The one with whom the relationship is being formed was able to make a real connection to the person behind the mask, rather than a superficial one by connecting only to the mask itself.

We're Number One?

While watching Obama's speech to congress on September 8th, I took note of something he stated at the end of his speech. {The whole speech can been watched here} After laying out his plan for increasing employment in the U.S., President Obama concluded with, "Let's get to work, and let's show the world once again why the United States of America remains the greatest nation on Earth." I found myself wondering if this was a statement that I agreed with. Of course I agree that we should work hard to improve the status of our country. It was the latter part that I questioned. Is the U.S.A. truly the "greatest nation on Earth"? Coincidentally this point was brought up in class today, while we discussed the stories that we americans tell ourselves. One of the stories we had on the board was "We're number one."

Although we like to tell ourselves that, I know that in certain situations, the United States is not the best. In fact in some cases we can be the worst. According to these energy statistics for an example, the U.S. is the largest consumer of oil. And in this circumstance bigger is certainly not better. We also have the highest obesity rate in the world, indicating that our health is not the best. Not to mention we have the highest rate of alcohol related deaths, despite the fact that we have the oldest legal drinking age.

Clearly, the United States is not the best at everything. So why do we and the President tell ourselves we are the best, if it is not entirely true? This is not meant to criticize President Obama in any way. I think I would be saying the exact same thing to our country if I was in his position. He is just telling the people the story they want to hear, that Americans are superior. To answer my own question: Even if this is not always the case, I think it is what will help motivate citizens to work hard and create success for our country.

Did You Hear?

one of the yahoo's 25 most powerful 9/11 photos
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As I signed onto to Facebook this morning, I was not surprised to find many statuses reading "Never Forget," or something along those lines. Being that it is September 11th, of course these are all to acknowledge the ten year anniversary of the day the World Trade Center was attacked and 2,983 lives were lost. On the news this morning they listed the 2,983 names off, and I realized how fortunate I am to not have known a single name on that list.

Although I was personally unaffected, I still find myself very touched by the many news stories they have been showing recently. This got me thinking back to the conversation in class we had inspired by a Henry David Thoreau quote from Walden in which he says that "all news...is gossip." He also questions: "if you are acquainted with the principle, [of a news story] what do you care for myriad instances and applications?" (69). This made me wonder if Henry David Thoreau had been alive on 9/11/01, if he would have been disappointed in the media for featuring hundreds of stories about the attack. Would he have accused the news reporters of being gossips? Also, when I heard about the london bombings in 2005, should I have shown no interest because I was already familiar with the concept of terrorism due to 9/11?

I think that Thoreau perhaps thought that people like to talk about the latest news stories with a secretly selfish motivation. Sort of confirmation that they are with it, or in the know of what's happening these days. I think there may be some truth to this, whether we do it consciously or not. However, I do not think that I or anyone else talking about the 9/11 attacks should feel that they are gossiping. There is nothing wrong with taking part in conversations about these stories in an effort to pay respect to those who were unfortunately affected or even trying to make sense of the evil that occurs in the world today.

While looking at the Chicago Tribune, the headline 'Bad mothering' lawsuit dismissed caught my eye. Eager to learn about some mother with horrific parenting techniques, I took a look at the article. Surprisingly, I found myself to be on the mother's side of the argument. It turns out this poor woman's kids were suing her with ridiculous claims such as harassment for threatening to call the police if they did not wear their seat belts. The claims only became more laughable as I read on. Some of them including "inappropriate" birthday cards, fighting about dress prices, and not buying enough toys.  More surprisingly, the children who filed the lawsuit in 2009, are now aged 20 and 23 years old.

I could not get over my shock after reading the article. It was very hard for me to understand why these kids would want to intentionally harm their own mother both financially and emotionally. The article suggests the motive came from the father of the children and ex-husband, who was seeking revenge on the mother who filed for divorce years earlier. Although this may have partly been the reasoning behind this absurd lawsuit, the alternative motive was obviously money.

The moment these kids decided to contact an attorney, they also made the decision to value money over  family. It was truly worth it, in their minds to potentially sacrifice their relationship with their mother in order to make some money. I think this story shows how much control money can have over people. The children's' desire for money was greater than the concern for their mother's feelings, most likely putting a large strain on their relationship. It is so sad to me that someone jeopardize their family ties to become that much richer. This story proves that money has become too large of a priority in America (for some people), to a point that more important values are being left behind.